Top Ten

The top ten things I hope to avoid seeing and hearing by eliminating TV from our household:

10. Jerry Rome Hyundai commercials featuring his retired dog Buddy or the new replacement, Jack. I can't help but wonder if retired is a euphamism for dead.

9. The TV Guide Channel. I know that somebody must like to watch Dirty Dancing back-to-back for a month but really, can't you show more than 3 channels at a time? By the time I know what is playing on all the channels, I missed the show.

8. Real Housewives of anything (Thank you NJ!)

7. Commercials for Vagasil, Summer's Eve, Tampax and any other remedy for my vagina. (Ok...I know I was watching Lifetime...but still.)

6. Benefiber commercials featuring beautiful women with flat tummies lounging by the pool. I don't know about you, but when I think about fiber supplements, I think about pooping...not putting on a bikini.

5. Commercials commercials commercials...for all the novelties out there like granola squares (because bars weren't cutting it) and Oreo straws (because dunking a cookie is SO yesterday)

4. Reality TV. I don't hate all reality TV but come on, enough is enough. Did you know there is a show called Dance Your Ass Off??? It is a weight loss/dance competition show. Seriously.

3. Having visions of perfection shoved down my throat every time I change a channel. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect baby, perfect clothes, perfect food, perfect technology, perfect house, perfect car, perfect perfect perfect. (Do I sound bitter?)

2. The Kardashians.

1. Commercials for the Miss Universe pageant hosted by none other then Bret Michaels.